#this is what i want out of life and any relationship i have (platonic or not)
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𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 🐦⬛
⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!
a/n: I've added Victor into this, but I want to have a conversation about if he can be a romantic partner - or he will always be platonic?
ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ | ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ ᴵᴵ
You're still in Fromville, not having escaped yet but making the best of it.
𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒅 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
・Domesticity to Boyd is so much different in this town compared to the 'real' world.
・For example, he would be awake before you, no matter the day just so he could surprise you with your favourite drink and a pastry each morning.
・The chores would be split 50/50, with Boyd usually picking up any slack (he doesn't mind at all)
・He loves doing the laundry, folding your clothes with so much care.
・But here... his actions to show his love are limited and it kinda pisses him off
・But you constantly remind him of all the good he's done here and how he keeps everyone together.
・You celebrate every win, even the small ones.
・Boyd is big on DIY, and loves fixing up things for you. Anything you ask - you want a different type of curtain, or you want part of the window patched up - he does NOT let you do it. That is HIS job.
・Massaging his shoulders at night, feeling how taught he is. This town is so hard on him. It constantly makes you wonder, why him?
・You do have one rule though: last one in bed has to make it!
・Boyd seems like the type of person to keep everything about himself to himself. But that isn't true. He likes telling you things, he enjoys opening up to you.
・One really important factor in your relationship is the challenges of town and its mysteries.
・Many people in town were basically betting how long you two would together.
・But what they didn't know, was that the horrors STRENGTHENED your bond. It made you both rely on each other so deeply.
・Having a partner means so much to him.
・Boyd loves you so much. He would never burden you with what he knows, but he loves when you have random conversations.
・It makes things feel just a bit more normal. It gives him hope.
𝑲𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒚 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
・Mornings and nights are especially special to you both
・Slow, careful, mindful, warm and cosy.
・Touching each other in some way - hugging each other from behind, pinkies entwined, cheek kisses, forehead kisses, rubbing noses together - if anyone else saw you too they would gag (ITS CALLED LOVE)
・Kenny LOVES tucking you in at night.
"You comfy now?" As he wedges the blanket under the side of your body.
"Yes Kenny! Now get in bed you loser!" You answer laughing.
"Okay, okay, I'm just looking after the most important person in my life thank you very much."
・You love listening to him; to his stories about his childhood up until he came to town.
・One of Kenny's favourite things is when you read to him. Even if you don't have a book in front of you, he just wants you to recount as much as you can from books you have read.
・Might be kind of painful, but you two like talking about how life would be like together outside of this hell.
・Owning two cats, two dogs, maybe some fish.
・Whenever you hear the creatures screeching, you automatically cling to Kenny, you can't help it. You HATE the noises.
・But you always feel safe around Kenny. Always.
"I've got you. I swear to god I'll never let anything happen to you."
𝑱𝒂𝒅𝒆 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
・Every morning he gives you a kiss on the head and 'tip toes' out of the room, trying not to disturb you.
・You usually yell at him to get back in bed
"My looooooove, I have important business to attend to!"
・The bed is pressed up against the wall, and Jade says if someone/something were to enter the room, he would be the first thing they see
・From then he starts his daily ritual of figuring out how to get the hell home
・Jade teaches you A LOT of stuff. And you're always surprised by how well he does at teaching. He's patient (only with you but you don't know that), and takes his time to teach in ways you'll understand (once again, only for you...)
・He is like a walking computer at times. Really good with dates and great with measurements.
・But one thing he is terrible about is the fact that he's a repeat offender blanket stealer. Absolute criminal.
・No matter how much you tug and pull, or wrap yourself in it, Jade somehow unravels you in his sleep and takes the blanket.
・When you both wake up, you've practically snuggled underneath him...
"Babe, what are you doing?"
"You stole the blanket again and I got cold," you reply muffled beneath him. He's very warm.
"Oh god, sorry! We ah, we should probably get more blankets then... god why didn't you wake me?"
"Wake you? Ever since we got our own place, you've slept like you've never done so in your life!"
・It was quiet before he replied, and then he wrapped his arms around you.
"That's because I haven't sleep properly before I met you."
𝑹𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒍𝒍 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
・Your relationship with Randall is one that surprises you. Constantly.
・People don't see him the way you do. At times they start to though.
・But only you get to see his true soft side. The side that moves the hair from your face, kisses your forehead, nudges his nose against your own.
・You are the ONLY person to make him laugh.
・He knows so much about you - the way you like your clothes folded or hung up. He knows which books are your favourite, which song you could listen to on replay.
・Music is a big thing to Randall, and the fact that he can't just randomly play something on his phone gets him really down.
・So one night you guys make a list of every song you like, when you heard it and what it made you feel
・Making each other guess who you were before arriving in hell.
"Hmm... you were ... a ... farmhand on a ranch..."
"What the fuck Y/N."
"What? Were you?"
"Oh yeah sure, you hit the nail straight on the head sweetcheeks," and then he rolled his eyes.
・You laugh, loving when he gets 'annoyed' (you know he can never really be annoyed with you right?)
・You know each other's favourite tv shows, colours, smells, literature and so on. You whisper to each other through the night, trying to take your mind off of the screeching coming from outside.
𝑬𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
・Always the last to get up, sometimes he wakes before you but he'll still lay in bed, watching you sleep. Sometimes blowing air on your face when it's been a few hours and he gets bored
・Leaving sweet notes in unexpected places, they range from:
'hey baby, went down to do some work in the greenhouse, love you xx' to 'yo sexy honey see you tonight ;)'
・And you keep every single one of them. You have a sort of time capsule thing underneath the bed in one of your bags. Just small photos, letters written to each other, etc.
・Side note - Ellis is a cheeky man who loves to rile you up. Push your buttons. Make you red in the face.
・But he knows when enough is enough; he's extremely intune with your moods and doesn't have to ask when the days get too much.
・LOVES MAKING UP RANDOM SONGS ABOUT YOU, they are terrible but they make you laugh
・CONSTANTLY setting up spontaneous things for you guys to do. Seeing a smile on your face is the best thing he has ever seen.
・Literally puppy love.
・You guys seem to be able to talk to each other mind to mind. Glances from across the room are easily read by one another.
𝑽𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
PSA: As I said above, I'm not sure if Victor can be a romantic partner - I would love everyone's thoughts on it and maybe we can come to some kind of agreement??? Anyway, read this how you like ⟡☾⚝☽⟡
・Home...this town is the only home that Victor had ever truly known.
・How could you show him that the way he'd been living was not normal? That he should be able to feel safe, he should have gone to school - maybe even his drawing could have evolved into something astonishing
・So, in little ways you introduce this life to him
・He can't remember his birthday (so you help him choose one) and the two of you, along with Ethan, Tabitha and Julie celebrate
・...home decor projects are mostly just Victor's drawings. The really scary ones, you ask to be put away and he obliges <3
・Victor is used to living with other being, but not sleeping in the same room as another person.
・You would also need to get used to his blatant honesty. It isn't like he's trying to hurt you but he can just be brutally honest.
・Picnics in your room where you scavenge whatever food you can and talk about the funniest things you've seen people do
"I saw Jim ... trip over today," Victor says in a hushed voice, a cookie halfway to his mouth.
You burst out laughing, even snorting as you imagine the uppity Jim Matthews take a tumble.
"God, I wish I saw that."
・At first Victor didn't want another friend. He didn't want to get close to someone, he knew something would happen to you. You'd be taken away from him.
・But you swore to him that you would always be there for him.
・In town, and when everyone leaves. You've told him that you can be his home, his family.
#witchthewriter#headcanons#from series#from epix imagine#from fanfiction#from mgm#from tv#from tv series#from tv show#victor kavanaugh#from#randall kirkland x reader#randall kirkland#randal kirkland#kenny liu#kenny liu x reader#boyd stevens#jade herrera#jade herrera x reader#jade herrera imagine#witch the writer's headcanons#preferences#From preferences#fromville
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Hi, I'm kind of sending this to all the people I saw who write for demon slayer...so could you do a "What would it be like to be Obanai's adopted daughter and his apprentice"?
Obanai W/ a Tsuguko!Reader
Characters: Iguro Obanai Type: Platonic, Headcanons, Fem!reader implied?, Found Family
didn't explicitly make Obanai Reader's dad just because when you do the math he would've been 16 at the time of finding them but the relationship is still there
Warnings: none? spoilers maybe? tad bit angsty at the end...
even though this guy is mean and merciless he's not EVIL
bro is still human with human emotions, so when he finds a small helpless child (9-10) while out on a mission he's not just gonna leave them there
you kind of reminded him of himself
which is how he ended up taking you in
originally he was just going to bring you back to the city and let you go off wherever but you continued following him and he just couldn't get rid of you
and now he's stuck
your young impressionable mind soaked up his mannerisms like a sponge
without even being taught directly, you managed to make your way around swiftly and unnoticed, often times scaring the man who took you in
he acts annoyed by this but you're kind of growing on him and he's lwky impressed
any time he goes out he demands you stay in the estate, and not wanting to disappoint him you listen (Obanai is very much a hater of rule breakers)
you never actually got to see him in action, but once you were a tad bit older you found out his occupation (upon asking about the sword he carries) and decided you wanted to be just like him
so when he became a hashira and the test thingy came up you literally BEGGED him to let you take them
he would refuse without giving you any reason besides "because I said no" at first (because he has a soft spot for you and rather not put you in danger ever though he won't admit it)
butttttt after seeing your determination and catching you watching him train to practice later he finally decides to train you
he has this whole elaborate, harsh training regimen and he says if you can't pass it you won't be able to become a demon slayer
he's so mean throughout the whole thing...(its tough love)
despite his seemingly impossible to reach standards you end up succeeding yayyyy and you take the test thingy and don't die yayyyyyyy yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy
#very proud Obanai moment (he won't say that though)
he continues training you and now you're officially his tsuguko cus yk...you're part of the corps now
he kind of distances himself from you in public, keeping an eye on you from afar
people don't even think you're his tsukugo and when you tell them that they're like WHAT (esp zenitsu...)
whenever you guys go on missions together he lets you hold your own but is quick to step in if anything goes wrong
the first time you accidentally call him dad (or any other familiar honorific of some sort) he literally stops in his tracks like "what did you just call me"
and you're like oops my bad..heh...
if you ever say it again he won't stop you (it actually means a lot to him)
originally he tried keeping you away from Mitsuri but she thinks your guys' dynamic is the cutest which made him stop actively trying to keep you away
will smack you upside the head or chase you around if you tease him for it later
that look he gave Tanjiro after he found out he got to spend time with Mitsuri during hashira training? yeah, he does that to every other slayer (especially male) who has ever interacted with you (but in a platonic, protective sense)
he watches as you climb the ranks and hopes for you to replace him as a hashira once he dies
he thinks you're a much better person than he is and much more deserving of the life you have, and he hopes that even once he's gone you'll continue to thrive
#kny obanai#kny#kny x reader#hashira#demon slayer#mitsuri kanroji#demon slayer x reader#obanai iguro#demon slayer obanai#obanai x reader#kimetsu no yaiba#demonslayer#鬼滅��刃#demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba
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gotta say that i disagree that nobody fights for buck. in s5 taylor said it best: buck's life is full of meaningful relationships, actually. every person of the firefam would fight for and support buck. he is and will never be alone again in his life, especially during the hard times (which they reiterated in 8x05). meanwhile, we see thus being contrasted with tommy not having any kind if support system like that. the same seemed to be the case for taylor. i know people want tommy to fight for this, and i agree that i definitely need him to check his trauma and fears to work this out with buck. but buck is the main character that has had seasons of alleged development. he died and came back, got clarity, was supposed to finally feel good in his own skin, worked out his childhood trauma with his parents in therapy, formed a support system, now discovered he is bisexual and felt free with it. and now tommy is the only one who should grovel? i get the idea but. evan buckley is the character we have seen grow and learn. i want him to put in the work as well. look at how he fought for his job when he thought he would lose it forever. THAT is what i need from him rn. if he is just giving this up with a shrug, then i don't want bucktommy in canon. we have seen tommy taking care of buck and supporting him in all his shenanigans. i need to see that buck is absolutely serious about this and ready to fight for it. if he doesn't, he still hasn't found his true love or still doesn't know what he wants in life. i am bored by this. we have been here multiple times already. do something else with evan buckley finally or just allow him to be a bachelor forever.
okay yes buck has meaningful platonic and familial relationships.
no romantic partner has fought for him. abby ghosted him because of her own issues even though she's a fucking grown ass woman, ali got a reality check and broke up with him when he was in recovery after nearly dying, which okay, fair enough. and while i believe taylor did nothing wrong in reporting the jonah story, the narrative wants us to think she prioritised her work, and she did betray buck's trust which, again, buck wanted to protect his firehouse (which is his family) so he wasn't being objective. reporters exposing scandals within govt orgs that are supposed to protect the public is not a bad thing, actually. the only time he's broken up with someone first is natalia and we were told it's because she was obsessed with his died-and-came-back experience.
and listen. i love tommy more than anything. but buck is still the main character. we're going to see buck going through the breakup, not tommy. we're not going to get much about tommy's past. we're not going to get any scenes with tommy and another character if buck isn't also there. you remember karen going to chimney and them day drinking together because they thought hen was being unfaithful (again)? i wish we could see tommy and chimney talking about their buckleys. but the way the show got rid of all minor characters and consistently treats LIs as nothing more than LIs... i'm not hopeful. we'll get one scene with tommy's Explanation and i'm not even hopeful it's gonna be well written (but i'm sure lou will be serving. god. they wrote such a shitty break up scene and he fucking ATE.)
yeah, buck fucked up by jumping the gun and asking tommy to move in with him when he couldn't even say the i love you, and i hope this will be addressed in future eps. but tommy immediately ended the relationship because he Knows Better and left buck heartbroken. this is what happened on the show. the average viewer isn't doing ten layers of analysis to understand tommy's perspective, nor should they have to. i love the metas, i'm digging into tommy's headspace in my next fix it fic, but this is still the dumb weewoo show.
i don't think tommy needs to grovel, i don't think he's the Bad Guy in this story, i have a lot of empathy for tommy and so does the GA! they're not mad at tommy, they want him back! they want bucktommy back! and i want them both to fight for each other, to apologise and admit to their fuck ups and admit how much they care about each other and that they want to be each other's forever love! i want them to say i love you!
but buck is still the protagonist in this story and i don't want to see him running back to someone who broke up with him in such a way that had him asking "wait, did you just break up with me?" because again, this is what happened on our screens. i want tommy making the first move, opening the door for reconciliation, showing that he knows he made a mistake out of fear from his past trauma, for buck to then know he is wanted, that tommy came back for him, and then put in the effort to fight for them.
hope this makes sense. and as always, for people reading this - this is not the space for you to bash on buck's previous LIs, please take it elsewhere.
#asks#Anonymous#bucktommy#as someone who's been in buck's shoes#you don't know how meaningful it is when someone comes back for you#its only happened once in my life and even though we ended up falling out again i will always remember her as the one friend who came back#yeah yeah i'm too attached to buck because we are the same person. leave me alone lmao
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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille
#possramble#ignore this im just babbling but#the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel#and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession#platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together#like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married#convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist#but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain#like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just#the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends#the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me#like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed#the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk#people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out#don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it#and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over#like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics#and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with#they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic#it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out#like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched#love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it#anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me#it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3#it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.
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art time-lapse of this piece that i posted in IG b4 to try out doing reels. i really like how this turned out overall plus "yasashii suisei" (link for eng tl) really fit the vibes so im queueing this here too
#khr#khre#khr oc#oniyanagi#hibari kyoya#ninomiya kanako#oc#hibakana#einart#tags yapping abt hibakana ahead 🫡#the quote that inspired this one still lives rent-free in my brain#“my alone feels so good i'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude”#both of them are the type of people who likes to move on their own and dislikes being restricted#and they thrive that way without needing to look out for things like social cues/other's perceptions/the will of a “majority”#there's this certain type of independence that i rlly admire for each of these two characters#if they don't feel comfortable with a person#or if the person's company does not spark any joy#as much as their peace and quiet does#then why would they even hang out and spend/invest time with them amirite? theyre not abt that fake life#nowadays its very common for me to hear abt boomers asking ppl when they're gonna get an s/o or marriage#or just others forcing ppl to conform with the social norms and what's considered as “normal”#so these two rlly bring me a lot of comfort#on their own; if i were to depict them on separate stories#khre aside and just considering khr; idt id ship hibari with anyone; he would be my a-spec king icon idol and legend who does wtv he wants🫶#kana too mdbxndbddjbd her previous version b4 this had another oc/canon ship but i don't rlly fck with that anymore (still funny tho)#(i realized that that previous ship rlly held her back character-wise---)#(but their (potential/established) platonic relationships with other characters are so *chef kiss* tho--working hard on brainstorming that)#on the other hand i started shipping hibakana for the comedy of their dynamic lmao (it should be around b4 sou & i reached kokuyo arc)#“wouldn't it be funny if---”#its just a joke there's supposed to be an “/hj” somewhere there i didn't know they would suit e/o's characters & personality this much wtf
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You could stay forever, if you wanted (Patreon)
#Doodles#Max Vyer#Dexter Favin#Helix#Coraline#I blame plushy brain lol#I initially wanted this to be a Max-centric Coraline AU but I realized pretty quickly that Max would just straight up get button eyes#Like it would be barely a question he would fall for it hook line and sinker#''The Beldam doesn't go after adults because children's problems and trust in parental figures'' wrong - Max Vyer#He already falls into his own world of dreams and make believe you Cannot look me in the eyes and tell me this man wouldn't get his soul#eaten in exchange for getting to actually experience his fantasies he's so dumb ;;<3#So I had to switch it to Dex because he'd actually be a challenge and the Beldam loves games lol#Okay but also imagine - Max getting duped and Dex coming to rescue him hwehh#Coraline AUs are endlessly fascinating to me because they always cut right to the core of ''This is what you want - right?''#It's that Want Vs. Need babey!!! Gah it's so good <3#Here's another question - you think the Beldam would assume the form of Madame Vyer? 'Cause yes the Matriarch role but#It's hard to argue that Dex and Max aren't the most important figures in each other's lives and her wit would kinda need to be in full focus#But it's Definitely incorrect to limit their relationship to being just guardian/paternal/filial/platonic to really any degree#Would get real awkward real fast - another reason I had to switch to Dex 'cause again he'd Resist just agh how creepy! It'd be really creepy#All that to one side for now tho lol - I really love the twist of the knife option personally ♪#Of ''I see what you want and I can give it to you exactly how it would be in your real old life - don't you want that?''#It's so invasive! So intrusive! The little doll scouting out the disappointments that could be so easily ''corrected'' hwagh#Dex finally getting actually called out for his coddling Max from Max ''himself'' and promised that he could keep doing it#That's where it hurts - to be told that you don't have to change but that this is the way reality would conform around your decisions#Ow <3 I love that#Is it everything you hoped it would be? Are you ready to give in yet? Hhhh ♥
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My hot take is that some of you who live vicariously through fictional familial relationships yearn for "a healthy loving family" the same way a lonely person yearns for the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/partner who will sweep them off their feet and dote on them and love them always and only focus on them and take care of them and protect them and provide for them and give them a fairytale wedding
And it shows
#i just be ramblin#if this post isn't talking about you then it's not talking about you#All I'm saying is that some of y'all's fantasies for the ideal sibling or parent/child relationship are near indistinguishable from the#classic romance fantasies of having a partner who loves you and only you and only ever focuses on you and lives for you#And maybe perhaps we need to stop pretending that behavior/fantasies between 'family' which play out like the folger's incest commercial ar#completely normal and healthy relationships for regular family members to have#Like my brother in christ. If you have an older sibling who gets jealous when *checks notes * other people dote on you or consider#themselves an older sibling to you. So jealous that they try to keep you away from others because you are *their* little sibling and no one#else's to love and take care of and dote on. If they are that possessive. That is not normal healthy sibling behavior#At some point you have to ask if you're really yearning for a loving family or if you're yearning for a partner who will play all the roles#of a classic life partner (romantic or platonic) who doubles as the family you never had#And that's not any more normal than guys who marry women so she can be his partner and surrogate mom.#Maybe you have some shit to unpack#and that's fine if you do. It's fine if you need to heal and you need to unpack your baggage a bit#It is just helping no one to pretend this kind of behavior is normal and healthy and something to strive for in irl families#Or I guess more succinctly. If you're gonna have fantasies or make fictional scenarios between 'family' that are near indistinguishable from#the folger's incest commercial‚ own that you have a fauxcest kink or something#At the very least don't insist that it's completely normal and healthy behavior for nuclear family members. Own up to your methods of#coping and healing#Indulge in your harmless fantasies without acting like other people are terrible people who don't know what it's like to love your family#because *checks notes* they said that your comic/fanfic where two siblings pledge their lives and unconditional love and decide they want to#live together forever and can't live without each other reads like a sibling complex#vent post#fandom wank
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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heya i just wanted to tell you how genuinely important your arospec scarian thing is to me
the line "He's not sure what he wants, what's expected of him here" has just helped me solve a tiny crisis i've been having for the past month+ and on one hand i can't believe a fic about blockmen kissing is helping me figure this out but on the other hand im thinking of course it was your writing that helped me realize what is happening in my little feelings hole
anyway, just wanted to say thank you for how real and beautiful your writing is
sincerely, an aro/ace person who's feeling a little more okay about their crisis because you're an awesome human
HEY ANON,,,,, THIS IS SO SWEET WTF..... holy shit im literally speechless. I dont even remotely know what to say to such a genuine and heartfelt message, except that i am so, so happy ive managed to help you like this with my writing
Writing the arospec stuff was really interesting for me, personally, because thats an aspect of myself ive never really... set out much space to think about??? Ive known for a while that im probably demiromantic, considering how close i have to be with people before i can even begin to catch feelings, but ive never truly and consciously explored that within my writing before until now. And the fact that finally doing so has helped someone with a personal crisis really makes me so teary-eyed like hello...... oh my gods.
Thank you for taking the time to tell me this, and im so glad ive managed to help out despite being a virtual stranger. That novelty is never gonna wear off for me. I hope you're having a good day, anon❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ take care of yourself!! :]
#shouting speaks#asks#compliments#LITERALLY ABT TO CRY /POS THIS IS SO SWEET AND KIND AND IM JUST AUAUGHHH#i am very much a Helper™ in that i try very hard to support everyone in my life in any way i can#so like. man. knowing im Helping strangers somehow with my writing thats like. everything to me#cannot stress enough just HOW much it means to me#also like... man its weird isnt it#bc i DO feel romantic attraction but its just SO different from how everyone else says they experience it#for me its this conscious and informed choice#i love all the people in my life dearly and very fiercely but when i go into a romantic relationship#its always with an element of ''well im curious lets see what happens'' and choosing to try it out with someone i like#i find a certain comfort in the closeness and intimacy but i find EQUAL comfort in the closeness and intimacy of my platonic relationships#its real telling i think that i have a partner of going on.... 4 years now???? and two platonic relationships in the same household#that have been going on for even longer#smth smth the comfort of finding people you want to spend the rest of your life with regardless of romantic or platonic feelings#smth smth found family. im incredibly lucky to have made this one#anyway. wjfnejfnjd explodes#txt
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Girl are you okay? Cause you've been looking through the "My lesbian experience with loneliness" tag again
Well the short answer is no :D
#the long answer is I saw one post of someone going 'well now that I'm 28 too maybe I'll try doing the same thing the protag does here''#and nearly cried because 28 is such a ridiculously long time away except not really except it's SO#fucking long and so close to what I was gaslit into believing I would ever have that I'd be lucky to make it to my thirties for no reason#and I never wanted anything different and just wanted to live and had panic attacks when reading but I'd still believe it was inevitable#and now I am suddenly having to come to terms with so much I want from life that I had resigned myself to never having because I couldn't#but how am I meant to do that? it's just hanging over my head now and it feels so stupid and I feel so out of place everywhere#it feels like I'm too bad at being a person to be loved and too angry to even admit I want to be#and too regretful to seek it because I'm scared of trampling over people's boundaries like people have done to me#and like I did too before I grew up and thought my way through having some empathy#why do only boys show any interest in me.... why is every friend I make entirely outside the range of people who could possibly reciprocate#why is it so easy for me to brush crushes aside aren't people supposed to suffer for this stuff#does that prove it's not a romantic crush and it's just that I want to be held and wanted#it feels so wrong to want this after fighting so much just to have fulfilling platonic relationships what's wrong with me#that I still want something else what more could I want this life is so ideal as far as 12 yo me is concerned#...when did my brain start viewing any and all kinds of want or ambition as doomed efforts for me?#I have such a headache all of a sudden#I think... the way I value self preservation has gotten all the way around into being harmful maybe#at least a little#everyone I know is nowhere near the amount of control freak as I am and they just go do things they want to do#have I seen them hurt over the consequences multiple times yes. but . I'm tired of hurting over absence#''did you know wishing you had more extreme and easily verifiable trauma is in itself proof of having undergone trauma'' well yeah but like#fuck why couldn't I be traumatized by anything else that wasn't literally the profession supposed to help you with all the trauma#delete later#like for real I want to delete it rn but I also don't
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Y'know something I feel in the need to confess and wait hang on.
^ this is me talking this this is like a teen.girl talking to her crush. Ok? Anyway,
I have SUCH an issue bc Hoffman makes me SO insane like he's so fucking hot and also just beautiful and I really like him but... I cannot bring myself to see him in such a relationship w Lil Luly.
And NO Can isn't an option either ! ! Can is way too, weird. They don't fit here + he's a good person and would try to stop them and etc. But like it's just so silly bc it does show how strong the difference between R.L. and L.L. .......
Though who knows what the future could await . . .
#💟.txt#tbf l.l. is going thru a bit of a. sexless era#on purpose. to see what else there is to life#anyway i think it's this very lust i enjoy seeing hoffman ships of any kind but i don't feel particular about any of em#this probably is my weirdest post i feel bc I constantly switch between refering to myself as L.L. and not or just being a witness#but acknowledging my writing is something i barely do#but i had to point out bc its one of the few times L.L. and i dont share feelings#like usually it was the other way around sometimes L.L. becomes attached to a character b4 me#but this time is in the inverse 😭#like at best i can see l.l. and him having a very homoerotic yet platonic relationship#but i would not have such things w him i want his legs on my shoulders EKFGKDGEHDHE#AND YET. I DONT WANT TO MAKE A CHARACTER FOR THAT#LIKE IDK ITS WEIRD 💥💥💥
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it really does bother me how no one can seem to answer the question “what even is romantic attraction, really.” like some people are like “it’s who you wanna kiss and cuddle <3” and I’m like ok well kisses and cuddles can be either sexual or platonic depending on context. “It’s who you feel passion/desire/arousal for” well that just sounds like sexual attraction which you can have without even knowing somebody so I fail to see how that’s romantic. “It’s who you want to go on dates with” I go on dates with friends all the time plus “date” is a social construct anyway there’s really no innate difference between a date and hanging out. “it’s who you have deep feelings for” great news for you that can be literally any type of relationship. my friend told me she defined it as “who you wanna give roses to” and I’m like do u hear urself??? like the more I talk to people the more I’m convinced romance and romantic attraction is an elaborate socially fabricated illusion that has no real defining characteristics. and like there’s nothing Wrong with it being a constuct but why people are so attached to defending the supremacy of it is something I cannot for the life of me figure out
#like reading this u might be like ‘sounds like ur just aromantic sis’ but I’m like. listen.#ur missing my point. which is that I literally think romance Does Not Exist#at least not in this bioessentialist way people like to pretend it does#the desire for companionship and the desire for sex are biological drives. everything else is a social construct#which doesn’t mean its bad! or not valid! or anything like that!#but I’m just genuinely do not understand Why we are so bent on treating it like gospel
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a loving family, an unpalatable desire
reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: would anyone hear me out if i ever wrote romantic yan! bruce (ft. platonic yan! batfam AND romantic yan clark kent alongside the superfam ofc) with a neglected spouse reader... because uhm, i've been thinking about it lately just yk... so anyways PLSPLSPLS send in asks about this, ive been thinking about it so much lately.
imagine wanting to raise a family so badly with a man who adopts problem children as a side hustle. you're not some invasive spouse, you've always been good, always been loving, so... so accepting, never questioned where or how he picked them up from the side of the streets, never once complaining about the hickeys on his neck or the once neat tussles of his hair now tangled accompanying lipstick stains on his white suit.
you love your children, you tell yourself all the time. you love them, you love bruce— even if he doesn't love you. you said it in your vows, despite it being scripted, despite your family finally sighing in relief in the sidelines at finally being able to sell you off to one of the wealthiest man in the world, rather than being wasting off under their care— your vows are real.
you wanted someone to love you, unconditionally, so viscerally eternal that it eats you up.
really, all you wanted was to play that fantasy life of trophy house spouses. all you wished for was a loving, healthy relationship. the american dream: the picture perfect family frames, your husband kissing you on the cheek as he leaves for work, your children bickering at the dining room, with the scent of homemade meals wafting about the vicinity. all you wanted was the warmth in your chest to flicker like candlelights. all you dreamed about was that domestic life, an escape from the abusive household you were raised in.
yet the manor is too cold, too unforgiving for a soul such as yours.
the longer you stay inside claustrophobic, yet oh-so large hallways, the quicker you drown in a neverending pool of self-hatred.
but you're not allowed to show them your sufferings. they've been through much worse, you tell yourself. they've suffered more, and as what good spouses do, as what you're taught, you stay silent, enabling them to turn you into their own emotional punching bag.
you only allow yourself to cry at the dead of the night, under the sheets of your too-cold blanket and your too-hot pillows. when the manor is filled with deathly silence and a looming sense of dread and ill fitting thoughts of ifs and when they'll come back in one piece, will you grant yourself temporary respite; worry for a family who never even called you their parent.
yet you've always been so considerate. despite the pang in your chest every time bruce flirts with anymore potential love interest at a gala, you chose to instead monitor your chaotic children, who have always never bat an eye on you despite you always gazing lovingly at them.
you know of their interests, they don't know yours, yet you still give them extravagant gifts on their birthdays, with tired, yet glinting eyes, and a silent excuse to return to your room; one separate from bruce.
you know of bruce's hardships, but you don't push too hard, don't force him to talk, only provide him your silence and an offer to serve him dinner; all the time he refuses without looking at you. you give him comfort only if he ever allows you, only if he allows his walls to crumble— but not even his spouse can amount to a warm, crackling fireplace. to him, you're probably only a matchstick under the deadbeat glaze of the snow in a winter night.
maybe that's why you're such a ghost in the manor, stalking through the hallways, looking out for any of your children in case they come across you with any injuries. maybe that's why eventually your resolve weakened.
and maybe the absence of familial love led you to find comfort in another man's arm.
''til death do us part,' is such a tragic saying in your case, because you know it in your fragile heart that bruce's love for you was never alive in the first place. and yet you allow him to play you like a fiddle, allow him to slowly allow you to slip away from his nonexistent grasp.
and now, you're a stand-in parent for clark's son, jon, after the tragic loss of his wife. now, your world seems a lot less bleaker, as you play the fantasy of a loving house spouse, fully abandoning the life you left behind, a life you've never been gifted with until now. you want to feel guilty, you want to feel absolutely terrible but the heartache of neglect has become too much and all you do was allow clark to warm you up each night, kissing away your tears and spooning your deep-seated anxieties away.
you don't let the past eat you up, not when the present is too perfect, too freeing, too delusionally beautiful.
your son, jon provides you every joy a parent could have. parent's day gifts, heartfelt letters at every nook and cranny of your shared bedroom with clark— even reading him bedtime stories, allowing him to sleep in your lap after he slowly nods off, with clark knocking softly on polished wooden doors, greeting you with a loving kiss on the lips and a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand—
it's everything a parent wants, needs even.
and you're everything clark, and especially jon wants, needs in their life.
so it's such a stupid mistake, really. a slip of the tongue, a too-enthusiastic smile, incredibly bright, shining eyes. it's not jon's fault, you still love him either way. but it's an error still— one a complicated matter at hand, so dreadful for you, that jon accidentally, all-too-suddenly, mentions you as his parent to damian.
a loving, wonderful parent, he says, with a picture of you in his wallet shoved right in front of his friend's face.
#🧁... yael's misc.#yandere batfam#yandere dc#yandere batman#yandere angst#yandere bruce wayne#yandere clark kent#yandere superfam#yandere superman#yandere damian wayne#yandere jon kent#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x female reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#male yandere#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere x darling#I HATE WRITING HIATUS#this is so bad erm...#im back at ranting in tags but ykyk#why am i so bad at this again 💔
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Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂
⊱ Homicipher Characters’ Reactions to MC Winking at Them and Blowing Them a Kiss ⊰ || Multiple Character Headcanons
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Character(s): Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped, Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Spoilers for Homicipher (MC’s Lore), Brief Canon-typical Mentions of Violence (Mr. Machete’s Part), Canon-typical Horror Elements (Mr. Gap and Mr. Scarletella's Parts), Cultural Barriers (None of Them Understand the Gesture). Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Platonic or Romantic Relationship Word Count: ~1,880 Request: “Homicipher request for the Homicipher starved fans pls? 🥺 Is it okay to ask for the reactions of Mr. Silvair, Mr. Chopped(as he gets wheeled past us on a cart after being kidnapped, again), Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, and Mr. Scarletella with a reader who winks and blows a kiss as they pass by them? Like for some reason reader seems to be in a really good mood and they're skipping around with their trusty crowbar in hand then they see one of the boys then mwa~💋. I can imagine that they'd be confused at the unfamiliar gesture but I'd like to get your thoughts on it. 😂” Author’s Note: They all would definitely be confused by the unfamiliar gesture, so I kind of did headcanons about how each of them would react to you blowing them a kiss/how they would go about trying to understand what the gesture meant by using context clues (or just straight-up asking you about it haha). Sorry if they’re not great! I’m still trying to figure out how I want to balance the characters’ personalities as they are in canon while adding some more fun/whimsical aspects of your ask.
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡
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💉: He smiles softly at your cheerful demeanor, yet it falters slightly when you press the tips of your fingers to your lips and squeeze one of your eyes shut in response to him looking in your direction. You remove your fingers from your pursed lips and blow out a puff of air before continuing in the direction you had been walking towards. While he could infer you were in a good mood by your body language, he was curious to know what exactly the gesture meant.
💉: Instead of lightly treading the question or observing you for any longer to see if he could figure out what the gesture meant by using context clues, Mr. Silvair instead just asks you directly to get an answer as soon as possible the next time he sees you. He deeply enjoyed research and observation, yes, but there was no need to wait to gather information when you were a perfect source of it.
💉: Of course, it wasn’t easy to explain what “blowing a kiss” was, especially since they didn’t even have equivalent words in their language for “blow” or “kiss,” but you tried your best with what you had to work with. It’s almost funny how earnestly Mr. Silvair is hanging onto every word you speak. He chuckles after you finish explaining, amused by the gesture and its meaning – how quaint, he thinks to himself.
💉: He found humans to be fascinating and their diverse cultures even more so, so he was of course interested in learning whatever you were able to recall from your previous life in your old realm before you ended up in this one. He treats everything you tell him with an air of respect, and he even documents what you share with him so he (and you) never forget that part of yourself.
💉: Mr. Silvair finds the gesture to be an entertaining one, but deducts that it’s not usually one humans do with strangers or those they are not comfortable with from your explanation. Does that mean you are comfortable enough around him to express yourself in that manner? How fascinating... Do you care to tell him why you feel the way you do toward him? He’s very much interested in learning the reasoning behind your thought processes.
🗣️: Mr. Chopped smiles so widely when he sees you in such a chipper mood, making your way down the hall with a noticeable spring in your step. He likes seeing you happy, so it makes him feel good, too, watching you skip by with such a bright expression on your face! Then, you press your hand to your lips and wink, blowing something he couldn’t see in his direction, and suddenly he’s confused.
🗣️: Huh… well, that was strange. For some reason, though, the playful gesture seemed almost familiar, yet he couldn’t remember why. He can’t exactly chase after you and ask what that meant, so he’d have to wait until the next time he saw you (which he hoped wouldn't be a long wait – he liked spending time with you).
🗣️: The next time he saw you, he asked if you could explain what the gesture meant. You did the best you could, but you’re pretty sure he comprehended what you were telling him if the giddy expression on his face was anything to go by. His excitement was quite adorable. However, his expression suddenly falls, and you watch him begin to sulk. How was he supposed to blow you a kiss in return? He didn’t have a body!! The poor man is so distraught.
🗣️: He gets either Mr. Silvair to help him out or Mr. Hand to, well… give him a hand to enact his plan. The next time you see him, he calls out to you with such a delighted look on his face. So, you make your way over to him and kneel down to his level, watching as the sentient hand comes up to Mr. Chopped’s lips, making the same gesture you did, before he blows you a kiss and winks. He did it! He blew you a kiss!!
🗣️: Mr. Chopped is very proud of himself and the pleased expression on his face is far too charming for you. He feels a warmth in his metaphorical chest knowing that you felt comfortable enough with him to blow him a kiss, especially since it seems like something humans do with those they are most comfortable with.
🕳️: He’s honestly somewhat impressed you knew he was there, observing you through the small hole in the wall while you walk around like you’re on top of the world. He can’t help but wonder what happened that has you so chipper, but his thoughts are derailed a bit when you press your hand to your mouth and blow something at him, closing one of your eyes as you do so… What the hell was that??
🕳️: He feels somewhat offended, honestly, and gets that semi-disgusted look on his face before disappearing into the darkness. Mr. Gap understands it’s some kind of weird human gesture, but he can’t really put two-and-two together about what it means. Though, he finds himself continuing to watch you from any nook-and-cranny he could find, observing you to see if you would do the gesture again – you don’t.
🕳️: Mr. Gap ends up startling you while you’re walking down a long, grimy hallway, his hand darting out from a vent to grab your ankle. His grip isn’t tight, but it most certainly scares the life out of you and effectively catches your attention. He finds your scare amusing but ends up cutting straight to the point and asks you why you blew something at him.
🕳️: Even after explaining what the gesture meant, Mr. Gap still doesn’t fully understand why you did it, so you just tell him it was supposed to be a nice gesture that showed you enjoyed him – playful. That is something he does understand, and it’s almost amusing how the smirk on his face grew. He must be special, he thinks, and his smugness is radiating from his face peeking out of the darkness.
🕳️: Mr. Gap doesn’t do the gesture back, but he strangely enough finds himself hoping you don’t blow anyone else your kisses. He doesn’t know why the thought of you sharing the gesture with another annoys him a little bit – after all, it wouldn’t make it special anymore if you did it with everyone. He even begins bringing you things, like more crowbars or even pieces of candy he finds lying around. It’s almost like he’s trying to bribe you…
🔪: He sees you happily skipping around and finds himself having to do a double-take at the strange sight. It wasn’t a bad sight, not at all, it was just weird seeing you so bright and lively. However, his mind buffers a bit when you look at him, pursing your lips and giving him a wink before your fingertips press to your mouth and then flick towards him.
🔪: Mr. Machete is immediately annoyed, not knowing what the gesture meant, and he assumes you were trying to pick a fight with him. So, he takes his large sword and reels it back, throwing it at you with a strength that still had your eyes boggling. You duck with a yelp as the sword implants itself into the wall behind you.
🔪: He makes his way over to you with incredible speed, blocking your body between his and the wall as he looks down at you, his head tilted to the side as he asks you if you wanted to fight him. Mr. Machete finds your frustrated expression endearing as you tell him the gesture was meant to be playful and fun. He’s low-key kind of disappointed you didn’t want to fight, but he steps away from you after your explanation without another word.
🔪: However, while looking down at your angry expression, Mr. Machete suddenly has the urge to squeeze you (I imagine he experiences cuteness aggression regarding you). So, he reaches down and squeezes your cheeks between his large and calloused hand, causing your lips to purse. Even though you hadn’t been in the mood to fight him, now you were. He smirks widely as you two begin to spar all because he misconstrued what your gesture meant.
🔪: Mr. Machete doesn’t see the point of blowing kisses, and he doesn’t feel any particular way about the gesture. It’s kind of whatever for him, even though he does notice that you don’t seem to do it with anyone else. After the first time (that ended up leading to a spar), though, he notices you hadn’t blown him another kiss since… He ends up coming up to tell you in his gruff, almost rude way, that he wouldn’t mind if you did it again.
🩸: He tilts his head to the side at the gesture, his shaggy red hair swaying with the movement. Well… that was new, he thinks. He liked you quite a bit (far more than just a bit, really… my man is kind of obsessed with you), and he had been following you throughout your entire journey in this realm, yet he had never once seen that expression or gesture from you before. Now, he was curious to know what it meant, and he was going to try and figure it out one way or another.
🩸: He continues to keep his eye on you, following you as you go about your day. Mr. Scarletella likes seeing you so chipper and full of life, especially considering you were someone who tended to take life from others. The dichotomy between your behavior and actions had his heart racing. However, despite what he expected, you never did the gesture again. So, he couldn’t gather information by observing you – he would need to simply ask you directly, then.
🩸: Mr. Scarletella effectively manages to corner you after some time, catching you completely off-guard. While you two had certainly started off on the wrong foot, you had gotten to the point where you were relatively calm and comfortable around the strange man who was so incredibly down bad for you. He gazes down at you with his lifeless eyes, inquiring about the gesture you made earlier.
🩸: You explain to him what the gesture meant for you, that you were simply in a good mood and felt a little bit playful at the moment when you blew him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella smiles at your words, feeling very pleased with the information. So, it meant you liked him, correct? It meant you felt comfortable enough to express your happiness towards him in such a way, right?
🩸: Well, you inadvertently ended up making him even more obsessed with you, and now his feelings become even stronger every time you blow him a kiss. Mr. Scarletella finds the act an interesting way to express your interest and enjoyment of another being, so he begins to blow you his own kisses in return. He is one of the characters I feel would want to learn more about human customs to deepen his relationship with you even if he doesn’t fully grasp why some gestures mean certain things.
#🌸 . plum writes#💌 . anon#homicipher#文字化化#homicipher x reader#mr silvair#mr chopped#mr gap#mr machete#mr scarletella#homicipher x you#mr silvair x reader#mr chopped x reader#mr gap x reader#mr machete x reader#mr scarletella x reader#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#imagines#headcanons#fluff
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Did I just cry for 15 minutes because I suddenly had the existential dread that the single thing I actually want in my life seems to be just one step out of reach, and now I'm going to have that existential dread looming over my head while I get to seem all happy and cheerful because that's what people know me as and I hate disappointing people?
I mean, yeah, sure. Maybe I am slipping into a deep depression I've been skirting the edges of for a very long time now.
But I'm going to make it look interesting as I spiral! Metaphorically, that is...
#does this have to do with the fact that ill be 25 next week#and I'll still be as alone as i was when i moved here in 2nd grade?#maybe so#does it also have to do with the fact that the thing i want out of my life is to be able to just have any sort of close relationship#whether it's platonic or romantic#and yet i always seem to mess it up on some level that always results in the person turning away#including my best friend of 15 years who despite living TWO BLOCKS AWAY never seems to have the time of day for me?#the only common factor in this is me#theres this whole thing about how the strange and awkward people are actually good and all#but what if im not awkward in an endearing way but more in just an annoying way#im the type of awkward that people dont like spending a lot of time with#im aware that im messing things up but I keep doing them and its driving people away and i dont know how to make new friends#and so i just get to deal with the fact that i just dont get to have a close relationship#with anyone who knows even a fraction of who i really am#and it fucking sucks ok?#fuck
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Title: Malefic Attachment.
Pairing: Yandere!Malleus x Reader (TWST)
Written for a very lovely anonymous commissioner.
Word Count: 3.0k.
TW: Platonic (At The Moment) Yandere Malleus, Manipulation, Deliberate Social Isolation, and Obsessive/Delusional Behavior.
The worst thing about you, Malleus had decided, was that you’d chosen to be his friend.
‘Chosen’, because you’d been the one to approach him, a dazzling smile painted across your lips and a dozen questions about his life as royalty in a faraway land on your tongue, and ‘worst’, because he couldn’t think of a single other thing about you that he despised so fervently, or for that matter, that he disliked at all. He couldn’t be sure when he came to such a grim conclusion, although it had most likely been some time between the fourth time you’d sought him out in the minutes between your classes and the seventh you apologized for having to cut your conversation so short, nor was he entirely certain why the thought of having any claim to you left him so unsettled, despite how innocent your relationship was.
Briefly, he’d considered keeping you at a distance, telling his retainers to make sure you stayed at arm’s length, but he hated the thought of inconveniencing Silver and Sebek, and he hated the thought of having no claim to you at all even more. He’d never hurt you, nor was he possessive by nature. Most days, the only thing he craved was to sit by your side and—
“Malleus?” He felt a shoulder nudge into his side, a glanced down to find you, of course – staring up at him, smiling as if you already knew he’d been too lost in his own thoughts to listen properly. Immediately, it was all he could do to settle into place and smile back.
Most days, the only thing he wanted was to sit by your side and be with you, and it would’ve been a shame to squander such a golden opportunity to do just that.
He moved to apologize, to explain himself, but there was no need. You were already rolling your eyes and returning to your previous posture; curled into yourself, your legs folded against your chest, chin resting on your knees. It was strange – what lengths such a small creature would take to make itself even smaller. Malleus couldn’t help but find it endearing, the way he might’ve found a plush toy endearing, or a particularly charming prey animal. “I just don’t understand what’s going on,” you sighed, slumping further into yourself. Instantly, Malleus knew that whatever the cause of your distress was, it would not survive much longer than that night.
Still, he listened intently, as you went on. “I mean, I have to be the problem, right? I’m the only common factor – well, me and NRC, but it’s not like people are avoiding school.” Another sigh. This time, when you buried your face in your knees, it remained there. “They’re just avoiding me. I must’ve done something wrong.”
“Never,” he said, because it was true. Because you were infallible, save for your poor taste in companionship. “I can’t imagine what would lead you to believe such a terrible thing. Did someone tell you that?”
There was no real point to asking. He would’ve known if someone had planted such a vile thought in your head; would’ve dealt with it on the spot. Despite his reservations, Malleus made a hobby out of your safekeeping. If something were to happen to you, a human brazen enough to share his company so often, it would’ve reflected poorly on him.
(It’d occurred to him that you were not the first human to ever approach him, nor would you be the last, but Malleus opted against lingering on such technicalities. You were the only human to enjoy the spoils of his protection, and that was enough to make you wholly unique.)
You didn’t answer, not at first. Instead, your attention drifted from him to the view you two so often enjoyed together. It’d been difficult to convince you to join him here – on the roof of Diasomnia’s tallest tower, where one could make out mile after mile of dark, inviting forest in every direction and the dark colors of your dorm uniform blended into those of the night sky – but it’d been even more difficult to convince Vil to let you slip out after curfew. While Malleus knew he had no right to question the nature of your soul, he did often wonder why you had to be placed into Pomefiore, of all possible dorms. Schoenheit was one of the stricter house wardens, outmatched only by Rosehearts. It was difficult to steal a student of his dorm away at the best of times, and Malleus rarely wanted to see you at the best of times. If you’d belonged to Savannahclaw or, should he be so lucky, Diasomnia, there would be no need to rely on Schoenheit’s sparse charity after he’d already gone to the lengths necessary to seek you out.
But you were precious to Malleus, and there were few things he wouldn’t do to ensure your happiness. He cared about you – irrationally so. “My lab partner,” you admitted, eventually. Malleus felt something deep within his chest lose its shape, and yet his smile could only seem to widen. “I don’t know him that well, so it’s not like I have any right to feel… betrayed, I guess, but—”
“You have every right to feel exactly how you feel,” he interjected. “What did he say?”
Malleus already knew. He wanted to hear from your lips, though.
“It’s a little hard to remember.” And yet, you didn’t hesitate to go on. “I think… I think he might’ve said it was too dangerous to be around me. That I was a hazard to have in class, or something.”
That was only half-true, although he doubted you were lying deliberately. Just ‘a hazard to be around’ would’ve been more accurate, on its own. “Is that all?” He moved closer, draping an arm over your shoulders. Automatically, you melted into his side – your body slotting perfectly against his. “You have to know how untrue that is. You’re an excellent mage, and a pleasure to—”
“He’s not the only one, though.” It was the first time he heard your voice so pitiful, so distorted. Malleus couldn’t help but find it endearing. It would’ve been better for both of you, if you allowed yourself to be more reliant on him. “My roommate – that’s someone you have to share a room with when your dorm doesn’t unanimously decide to worship the ground you walk on, I know you’re probably not familiar with the concept – requested to move last week, and—” Your voice caught in your throat, your gazing turning downward. Malleus felt his fangs sharpen behind his lips, but repressed the urge to act on his less wholesome instincts. “There’s this boy in my third hour – from Ignihyde, I think. I swear, I’ve never even talked to him, but last time we had class together, he just came up to me, and—” You paused, shrunk into yourself. You attempted to pull away from Malleus, but he only drew you in tighter, and your resolve gave away far faster than his patience. “He called me a freak.”
Ah.
Malleus had wondered what’d come of his brief conversation with your classmate. It was a tamer offense than what he’d expected, although you were having a much stronger reaction than he would’ve hoped.
You weren’t wrong, for what it was worth. You hadn’t spoken to that particular classmate, but you could have. He’d planned to confess to you during your shared period, although he hadn’t thought to phrase it quite so romantically. Sebek had overheard him building up his courage, and it’d only taken a few words from Malleus to dissuade him from doing anything so foolish. Not that it was foolish to want to be around you – if that was true, he would be the biggest fool of them all. It was only foolish to think that someone so insignificant, someone so unimportant had any more right to be around you than Malleus did.
He couldn’t help but notice, as time went on, that all of the people you may’ve once considered friends were rather weak-willed. It was a tragedy, really. Malleus was aware that he had a reputation among the mortal portion of NRC’s student body, but that was no excuse to act the way your ‘friends’ always seemed to – sniveling and shaking, brought to tears by even the implication of a threat. He worried, at first, that they’d go running to you, spout off something awful and exaggerated that painted his protective habits in an unflattering light, but as far as he could tell, it was unfounded fear – an easily dealt with one, at that. Should anyone ever try to put anything but distance between you and themselves, he’d—
Well, he couldn’t hurt them. You wouldn’t care for him as much as you did, if he tried to.
That was, if you ever found out.
Again, his mind drifted back to Schoenheit; all narrowed eyes and pursed lips and disapproving scowls every time Malleus mentioned your name. It didn’t make him angry – he’d never been quick to anger, and it would only be childish to change that now – but he didn’t care for the way he felt when he was apart from you, when he couldn’t find an excuse to do away with the flimsy barriers that separated you from him. He didn’t enjoy the tightness in his chest, the dryness in the back of his throat, the way every little inconvenience left him on the brink of violence. No, he didn’t care for the way he behaved when you weren’t with him.
Yet again, his mind turned to Vil.
Perhaps he was more prone to anger than believed himself to be.
“Mortals,” He was talking before he realized he’d wanted to. His gaze flickered from you, still despondent and curled against his side, to the landscape, all-but pitch black under the thick veil of night. “are fickle creatures. They tend not to trust what they don’t control. Humans, especially.”
Another jab to his side, albeit not as forceful as the first. “Keep in mind that you’re talking to a human right now, Mal.”
“How could I forget?” This time, it was Malleus who detached from you, pushing himself to his feet and offering you a hand to help you do the same. With a huff, you followed him, mimicking exasperation as you let him guide you. “I only meant to say that you might not be entirely understood by such short-lived creatures. I mean, you’ve seen how they act around me.” He squeezed your hand, and bashfully, you looked away. “You agree, don’t you, (Y/n)?”
It took a moment, but with a small sigh and slight smile, you nodded. “…yeah, I guess. It’s not like teenagers are supposed to be nice or anything.”
“You agree, then. They’ve been treating you cruelly.”
Your smile wavered. Malleus considered that it may have been your fragility that’d endeared you to him. Or your inability to hide it, at least. “Well, I wouldn’t call them cruel, but…”
“But?”
“They can be mean, sometimes, I guess. The people in my dorm, especially.” You forced an airy laugh, turning away from him entirely. “I… I think Vil might’ve told them to keep an eye on me. They’ve been acting like I’m under house arrest, lately.”
“You must know how unfair that is.” Almost as unfair as Schoenheit’s attempts to keep you away from him. “And I’m sure you must know that you’d be much happier in a dorm with more open-minded students.”
Immediately, your expression dropped. You tried to pull your hands out of his, but he only tightened his grip. It pained him to exert any amount of control over you, but some pains were necessary. Those that kept you within the scope of his protection, especially. “I… I don’t really like where this is going, Malleus.”
“You haven’t even given me a chance to explain myself.” He didn’t realize his hold had tightened into something bruising until your lips quirked downward, eyes narrowing as you struggled to choke down a fractured whimper. Reluctantly, he released you, but his hands soon found their way to your shoulders. You couldn’t run, not on a rooftop, not very far, but there was no reason to give you the chance to. “I only think that you should consider how happy you could be if you—”
“Malleus,” you interjected. “I really don’t—”
“If you belonged to Diasomnia,” he finished, despite your protests. Impressively, you managed to bite your tongue long enough for him to explain himself properly. “Our students are much less territorial, and the majority are still human. If you’re afraid you’ll be an outcast, don’t be. You’ll still be among your own kind, just a less hostile breed.” When you failed to move, he gave himself the luxury of a less restricting form of affection – bring one hand up to cup your cheek. “I’m only trying to suggest that you seek out a more suitable place for yourself. It’s not as if staying where you are will make you any happier.”
“…I like Pomefiore, though. And it’s not like everyone’s avoiding me.” A lie, albeit one plausible enough to send a bolt of white, searing fear from the deepest hollow of Malleus’ chest to the back of his throat. He flinched, but caught himself before his pointed nails could harm your delicate skin. If you had any friends left (aside from himself, of course), he would tear them apart. He would carve their hearts from their bodies. He would—
He would change that.
There was no need to be so gruesome about it. Not yet, at least.
“You care for it more than you care for me?” He made sure to keep his tone light, teasing, only letting it dip into something more serious when you bit the inside of your cheek and looked away. “Please, don’t tell me that you still think they’re worth your time.”
“They’re not all bad.” You still weren’t looking at him. Malleus might’ve been more annoyed if he thought you had anything beyond him to pay attention to. “Vil’s a really good house warden, and—and, we have these skincare nights once a week, which might not sound very fun to you, but—Well, I haven’t been invited recently, but—”
To your credit, you didn’t need him to say anything. All it took was a sympathetic look, his palm slotted tenderly against your cheek, and you cracked before he had the chance to say a word.
“…but, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.” You shook your head, shrugged, as if it wasn’t a matter of true concern. As if you wouldn’t give anything to be as near to him as possible. “It’s not like I can just decide to change the nature of my soul. That’s between the dark mirror and…” Another chirping laugh, like windchimes and birdsong and silver bells. Malleus could only hope he’d hear it again sometime soon, in a more celebratory context. “…itself, I think.”
“Normally,” he admitted, running his thumb over your cheek. “Save for when you have another extremely competent house warden to petition the headmaster on your behalf.”
Even in the dim light, he could make out your cheeks flush. Good. He wanted to have an effect on you – any effect at all. “Malleus, I—I really can’t ask you to do that. You’re already so busy, and I really don’t mind—”
“(Y/n).” Immediately, you went quiet. He rarely used your name, and you knew to pay attention, when he did. “If you can tell me, honestly, that you do not believe you’d be happier in Diasomnia than you currently are, I’ll drop the matter entirely.”
You pursed your lips, your eyes meeting his own for the first time since he’d broached the topic. “…and if I couldn’t say that?”
Biting back his grin would’ve been impossible. He could only hope you mistook his delight for relief. “Then consider it done.”
You really were a delicate creature. A few seconds of quiet anticipation, a gentle squeeze to your arm, and he all-but watched you fold into yourself, crumpling under the weight of your own isolation. A small, unsteady smile spread over your lips as you pulled away from him altogether, only to throw yourself into his chest; your arms winding around his neck as you pulled him into a lung flattening hug. After a startled beat, he returned the gesture, pulling you that much closer as you buried your face in the leather of his coat. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you,” you stuttered, speaking quickly enough for each word to slur into the next. “I—I just haven’t had anyone to talk to, but you’ve been so patient, and so nice to me, and I… I really don’t know what I’d do without you.” You pulled back, looking up at him. Your smile was brighter than he’d ever seen it, and Malleus took a moment to savor that he’d been the one to draw it out of you. “You’re the best, Malleus.”
“Think nothing of it.” He was tempted to pull you back, to hold you for just a few seconds longer, but you were already tearing yourself away from him, clapping your hands together as you rambled excitedly about how much fun it would be to stay in the same dorm, how much more time you could get to spend with him and Lilia, how excited you were to get to know Silver and Sebek and all the other underclassmen who liked to, in your own words, ‘bite at his ankles’. It was only when you took an over-eager step towards the rooftop’s ledge that he took you by the arm, pulling you back with an airy chuckle. “It’s gotten late,” he explained, snapping his fingers. In the blink of an eye, the two of you were standing in his dorm room, the rooftop and the night sky’s expanse left behind entirely. “Why don’t you spend the night in one of our spare rooms? I’ll make more appropriate arrangements in the morning.”
You agreed without a second thought, and as he walked you through the shadowed halls of your soon-to-be home, he decided that he’d been wrong, initially. The worst thing about you wasn’t that you’d chosen to be with him. Really, your closeness wasn’t a bad thing at all.
The worst thing about you, undeniably, was that you could still choose to be close to people who weren’t Malleus.
Thankfully, he was already taking measures to fix that.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#twst#yandere twst#twst x reader#twisted wonderland imagines#twisted wonderland x reader#twst imagines#yandere malleus draconia#malleus x reader
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